Pananaue's Kitchen

I...Have...Returned...Yaba...Daba...Doo-wop..

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:38:41 GMT

Hi and all and whatever, never thought i'd be in this position, thats all I can say.

No particular reason for abandonment other than simple not-caringness of events and lost interest (typical). But I'll stop complaining and act as nothing happened and I didn't just reappear after almost a third of a year of complete behind the scenes action (or inaction, depending how you want to see it.)

Long (and i know its really long) story short, me on small island country with many, many faces. Sometime me like, sometime me no like. Me like good smell, can eat. Me go everywhere if can. Wait, me make Long story even longer...and no make understand.

Hahahaha!! Know this folks, I am out of my territory, but hopefully not out of my element nor out of my mind. Welcome...to Singapore. A tad late on that though, been here like three(tuh-ree) months already. But the events leading up to the now, thats the big question mark eh. I won't lie, its been a ride. Remember this episode of my life and "career"? Well, things got twisted around abit, and myself...lets just say I can't tell LUCK even if its staring me in the face (and punching it in like a bag of pencil shavings).

I'l be back, sooner this time. Need Sleep..I'm so bad at this. Reveille at 0520 hours (exclusive of snooze).

This is NOT an Update..!

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 14:43:23 GMT

Man oh man! I haven't had no chance nor energy nor time to make a proper update here of late. What with my job and things happening, the things people don't know..they just don't. Will try to get something on as soon as can. Media previews, cultural showcases, work diary...so much and more. Stay Tuned...

Let's get Real about a Thing or Two here People.

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 15:01:46 GMT

I GOT A FREAKIN CALL! Well, not to be overly excited by events, so I wont spill the details..as yet. But that doesn't make it any less nerve-wracking and my imagination is already way way ahead of me. Time to cool abits down with a healthy dose of random writing. Things have NOT started looking up for me and I will NOT allow my hopes to be risen any higher, making it much easier to dash it to a million shimmering shards on cruel terra firma. Best to keep my expectations low, avoiding further anxiety and giving way to clarity of evaluation and decision making prowess.

______________________________________________________________________

I actually intended to blog back a couple days ago already, but just didn't have the mood or brains for it. It was supposed to be a full length in depth post on the reasons for me blogging after many attempts at it (and failing consistency), but now it doesn't seem to hold any significant importance at all. People blog on whatever, however and whenever they like, motives being their own and nobody stopping them (except maybe a few cases I've read about, I think it was this Singaporean dude with his anti-government posts or something and some middle-eastern fellow being a wee bit zealous with his posts on religious topics I think).

Anyways, as intended but much much briefly summarised, here are mine thoughts on the subject of mine blogging :

I need an outlet for practicing my writing; both creative fun writing and more conventional formal style material like family functions, outings and freelance reporting (haven’t got any yet). A personal journal online also means less scribbling on loose paper thus sparing the environment somewhat (though I still enjoy papers, intentionally lousy handwriting and all). Plus I’m hoping it’ll keep me sharp and prevent any potential mental/writer’s blocks, hazardous for my career.
A proper blog presents a favorable opportunity to keep track of various technical projects that I’ve really wanted to do such as amateur/indie moviemaking in conjunction with my youtube account and writing HTML for customizing webpages and web documents. Even now I’m practicing my HTML listing tags with this section, with the numbering and stuff, tried using romans but it didn't work on this site I suppose. still, cool ya?
Blogs are hosted by websites supporting a wide, wide networking web connecting individuals and communities by location, interests or whatever common tag there is. I hope to take advantage of this benefit, globalizing my social circle. For me, its better late than never.
A little note on the nature of my posts, I will not prefer to promote the more intimate, personal side of my life. That’s just not my gig you know, snitching on myself and all. Injecting as much artistic self-expression and fun as I can possibly can through this medium is the main purpose of this project.

Hello, it seems that my “Reasons for a Blog” section does somehow dictate a certain amount of attention to itself and holds some individual validity on its own. Nice.

NEXT :(probably) The pleasures of entertainment I have subjected myself to recently i.e. Beat Yakuza (video game) and a few movies long overdue for a watch, watched! Reading a bunch, Dean Koontz on the current.

_____________________________________________________________________

NOTE: Had some 'Apollo Swiss Roll' things. They are little packages of artery-clogging confectionery delights. Sponge cake roll with synthetic vanilla icing ( much sugar, trans fat and preservative and whatever) and a full chocolate coating (synthetic again perhaps). The whole box was gone in just one day, today. I "only" had three *hehehe gleefully giggling like a hamster as high as the sky*. I swore I felt a pang of alert on my ticker as I scarfed the last one. I like 'em, will crave them again some day. Thats the truth and I'm telling it.

Jabbed in the Psyche..

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 06:41:08 GMT

I'm tired of being a statistic, time to take a chance and towards oppurtunity. That's what I wish I could be saying aloud with the conviction of every moral fibre of my body system. Umm I had much more to say, but I forgot totally. Nevermind. Nothing much good in me talking anyway, it has no meaning and even less action. I'm strangely weak and don't feel too healthy despite getting more exercise this week and last. I only point the finger to bad (really) eating choices and sleeping patterns for the past month, and last. Entirely my fault, I must pull myself together, at least for the sake of those in my immediate surrounding. Smile..SMILE..!.. SMILE DAMMIT!!

Okay, I'm going now. Maybe me play game for awhile, maybe Yakuza by Sega, and try finish it. Me deliberately talk like childish abit. Wanna escape from the real world heeheehee. Go away bad feelings, go away!

CLOAKED BEASTS, JUST OUT OF SIGHT
Depressive tendencies peeping
around the corner waiting for a chance,
At the moment merely looking
for that opening through my mental stance,
Perhaps it won't be so cruel
as to take me completely by surprise,
Challenging me first to a duel
and observe personally my perceived demise,
But I won't stand for that
standing back on my staggering feet,
I'll forfeit my podium spot
if I let imagination spell my defeat,
They deal me many many no's
prompting me to go lower with every secondBut Chris Casamassa said so
"it only takes one yes to make it happen."

I never thought I'd ever write poetry again.. Damn it! I originally intended to just rant out but instead?...sheesh, That sucks. Anyway, the last part's kinda RED because I mentioned Chris Casamassa.. The guy's pretty not bad. Hmm I took longer than I guessed with this post, now the Tv's being used by them watching DVDs, so I'll probably do something else instead of virtually taking the role as Yakuza toughie, Kazuma Kiryu.

Cheers,
Feeling just a wee bit better now.

When the Smoke Clears, are you Left with Anxiety and Self Doubt? Or Beef Jerky?

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 16:40:22 GMT

I had some snickers bars within the last 24 hours..I have no regrets on that.

Been another day, strange unpredictable weather preventing me from being online at times but other than that it’s been quite routine (boring) but I’m now managing myself with some extra to-dos on my to-do list. Hopefully by tomorrow, I would have allocated some time to hit the books (and audio cassettes) with my Chinese lessons. An hour should suffice, don’t wanna go overboard like the last time. Anyway, I finally got around to posting about something with more substance, my day at the Police Leadership Program and my other day at the famed Tamu Tutong. Enjoy.

30th May 2007, I got called to do this Police Leadership Program at the Civil Service Institute aka IPA which was part a series of assessments for those eligible for recruitment into the Royal Brunei Police Force (hup!). I got through the fitness test and topic presentation, but this program was definitely the most fun. We were put into groups to form a team of 8-9 and we had to design our own team name, logo and slogan. Although we were in a team, individual evaluation was taken via a bunch of dudes with cameras recording our every move and quirks (Camera Gnomes I call them). But forget that, check my super group yo, we were winners from the get go! Why? Coz we all had some special “mutant abilities” to contribute to our overall superiority.

There was our Captain Shah, with the power of hyperactive judgement and flying-feet-with-respect-to-time-on-the-stopwatch. Beside him was Lieutenant Ibrahim, gifted with the pierce-into-your-soul gaze. Following is 2nd Lieutenant Edy, master of eloquent non-threatening rival bashing. Key player Warrant Officer Fairuz, uncanny flag bearing ninja skills (he kept the flag alive FOREVER). Our secret weapon Lance Corporal Man, infected with a super virus giving him ghost-like speed and agility. Never forget Staff Sergeant Ivy, blessed with a sugary disposition and a fourth layer of skin armour. She was there too, Sergeant Nurul, wielding the white magic of underestimation to confuse our foes. And of course myself (Corporal), with the sixth sense of being the only team member to have pictures when all is said and done. Bravo Team!! We are the WARRIORS 8, but…WE ARE ONE!! Corny yes, but pleasantly memorable.

Behold! The Warriors8 : (from L-R) Ibrahim, Nurul, Fairuz, Shah, Edy, Ivy, Man & Myself.

After a bunch of word-based missions (Main kata? Mind cutter?), we were up to the obstacle course probably my favourite part of the whole day. Ivy got hurt before it even began (thus revealing the fourth skin), but the trooper made nothing of it. Nur breezed by without anyone noticing, Man was in a trance and Shah flew. I mean it man, he flew! I squeaked by, disappointingly. Watching too many Jackie Chan does nothing for me hahar! A search for a “bomb” in the black night was simulated next, where we blindfolded and had to use our listening skills and conjoined teamwork to make things happen, which we didn’t. Was still nice though *Ahem*. The Afternoon went by quickly, friendly bantering between captains, lunch at a hidden spot which I wanna find again soon and then it was second half of the program.

That afternoon, we were put through meditation, some arithmetic tricks, listening skills (Booms and Aiyas) and finally into the “Treasure Hunt” event, which didn’t really amount to my expectations. I vaguely remember finding our “treasure” and clearly remember being chewed on by a family of nasty red “fire” ants. Aaahh sweet! Finale, we all sang a song which I don’t know (but kinda liked) and it was all over. Images were transferred over a Bluetooth connection and a pact of secrecy was formed. (Hahaharr only those concerned will know what I’m talking about! I’ll see you again soon dude Insyallah!) On a more somber note, I’m really not sure what to make of being a potential candidate for recruitment, will just have to wait and see. Kind of bothering me that I’m not whole-heartedly into the whole deal of servitude in the force *sigh*.

Anyways, BEST OF LUCK to EVERYONE and a couple miscellaneous pics from that day, thats all I got (weellll, almost all), generous discretion is my name.

________________________________________________________________

In other news, I finally went and saw the myriad of seamless variety and felt the smoking heat and snorted the many scents and mingled within the eager throng of folks hailing from everywhere, on the last day of the last week of the Tamu Tutong in its glorious outdoor locale before it moves to the new roofed venue specifically-constructed for it. Nobody can say now that I didn’t experience it in all its legendary magnificence. Honestly, it was pretty DAMN nice. Gonna go again (and again) if I get a chance. Of course, its all the food I remember most. Argh! Just remembering it all is making me kinda longing for all sorts of goodies.

But the place also offers seedling and saplings of flowers and fruit trees for those who adore them, fresh produce and catches from the sea or as close to fresh as you can get I suppose. Check this out, they even got rabbits, Its True! As pets or for the dinner table, I don’t know nor do I really care, I like rabbit meat heheh. The other trinkets and accessories I really don’t care for, who would wanna by clothes exposed to the spicy smog emitting from a hundred assorted animal carcasses over charcoal. Not moi. My only regret was not having the sense to take more pictures with my phonecam. The heat must have messed up those senses like a hunk of beef jerky.

Further proof that I was there. Yes, that’s me queuing up for some umm beef jerky? Whatever, it was tasty. That’s all I care.

Much soul in Personal Projects give birth to subconscious Self Glee..

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 13:04:49 GMT

“HTML images” lessons are a real pain, but will be worth some I’m sure. Slacking off at other projects such as my database, Chinese and getting back in performance shape. No matter.. I’ll start up as soon as good. The reason I’m so hyping myself up to this self learning is due to necessity of complementary skills yo! A few interviews I went through, they grill you on this stuff, its like they trying to find a weakness in you, I swear! It didn’t seem very fair at first, but now I have realized. I’m guilty of ignorance in self perseverance and improvement. I’ll take things too lightly if its just as a hobby or pastime. But now it’s a personal responsibility, good man. Don’t want to be the go-to guy for this kinda thing, its all about the self. No pressure, but the rewards are felt indefinitely. Rewards of any journey of knowledge are always best felt when you walk the path for yourself and not blindly like a green-haired, blue-robed lemming strutting on the path of the metaphorically suicidal.

I’ve got this other project I wanna do too. Short movies. I’ve wanted to write short stories before (and still do), but short movies are cool as heck. I’m just sick of the lack of resources available to me. But I’ve got ideas man…and youtube hehe. Everybody’s into youtube. It’s the perfect creative outlet for homemade, self produced videos to be released and distributed. A lot of garbage too, no mistaking. But its all good fun. Its nice to get noticed once in a while, and I been in my own shadows of self-doubt for way too long. The nature of MY movies are yet to be revealed, its my project and I do it as I see fit to my personal vision. Hints: I Love the Venoms, Lau Kar Leung, Sammo Hung and Donnie Yen. Rrrrrrobert Rrrrrodrrriguez!! You da man!! Yet, I’m only….one man. *snickers*

Erghh! Just a little something-something I did on the fly a way while back. Nonsense I know, but it was fun. Gotta get back in the same groove.

________________________________________________________________

I’m really hungry today, that wicked category of hunger where even though you’ve eaten, more food still seems like a good idea. Right now, I “need” a couple of snickers bars (something sweet and substantial), a big bag of BBQ chachos (salty and junky) and a few cans of A&W root beer (sickly yet refreshing). Of course, I don’t need all that at all, mind tricks and such. But I’ve blown so far off my eating plans that influence and habits kicks in and take over. I really should start cooking my own meals again soon as can. Planning to warm up to dairy and soy products more, its good stuff I know. Never been much of a milk drinker, even less of a cheese eater and a total nemesis in eating straight butter. I’m not allergic as far as I know, maybe only slightly in terms of digesting. Soy products? Even less of a fan. Soy milk maybe, bean curd and tempe seldom so.

Therefore, I charge myself with the quest to ingest more dairy for my overall nutritional benefit, especially in terms of that oh so “lacking in me” mineral, the bone friend calcium. I could take supplements (tablets and whatnot) and I probably will, but in the end I believe it’ll better in the form of real food. So…that means drinking more milk, eating more cheese and yoghurt for me. Fruity yoghurt is nice, throw it in some cereal or a smoothie mmmm (I hope). Cheese on pizza is a neat trick, good cheese on a homemade pizza, that’s powerful. Gonna try that and see how it turns out. Mmmm meat lover’s slice, straight out of my own toaster oven..

NOTE: I just realized that Ice Cream is dairy too! “Your on the list my friend! Red Carpet Treatment! ”

Trying out my newly acquired knowledge of writing HTML (links)

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 15:10:46 GMT

My self studies are going pretty well if I may say so. Eyes are just burned dry though, don't think it'll make much difference if its paper printed or monitor viewed. HTML never seemed a likely subject That i'd enjoy as much as I do now, but I surprise myself. This website I'm learning and getting tutorials from (for free might I add) must be of the right tone and content for mine mind. Looking forward to the rest of the lessons, I'm only up to images, pretty heavy for me. The internet, telecommunications, IT, the computer whatever, whatever..its all so abundantly the norm now that I gotta learn this stuff. Plus, I could definitely use the extra points on my resume harhar.

____________________________________________________________________

I've been watching quite a few many movies of late. Though to each his/her own, I'd recommend less of the newer comedies, they seem to be trying a little too hard. Still some are a good enough watch (Wild hogs, Blades of glory etc), just not too memorable. Probably all the efforts are put more on the action and horror genres (and the rest of their ilk). Err it may be a little late to comment, but The Rock, Dwayne Johnson is making some really entertaining films (Be cool, Doom, Gridiron Gang). The guy's on my list for top male consistency for action, comic and overall versatility. Yo!

Coming soon! My personal take on The Venoms. Might have to do it in parts, covering some of their movies that I have the luck of watching (sadly english-dubbed) and of course on the guys themselves. I'm suddenly into all this Shaw brothers stuff and the 70s-80s martial arts flicks since the 2nd half of last year.

____________________________________________________________________

Alrighty then, gonna stay up just a little longer, then fix myself some temtptation Indomie Goreng! That oughta help comfort me till next time its needed.

Fresh new start.. It doesn't matter how many times I gotta do it

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:12:51 GMT

I'm taking my own darn picture and trying to pass it off as "artistic"..D'uh!

Nothing will ever stop getting better, worse or whatnot so just have to deal with it as best is. Deleted my first post because its meaning is obsolete now, best not dwell on that thought, not now or possibly ever.

Whats important now though, is moving forward. Got a whole bunch of things I wanna do, catch up on and finish. Really wanna upgrade my level of skills and knowledge, correction..USEFUL skills and knowledge, you simply never know. Reading up on HTML, database, microsoft publisher and some other stuff, I have not much choice except to takes it nice and easy lest I blow up whatever brains i have. Some ability in creatively editing images and video recordings seems a valid (and fun) addition as well, videos I can do somewhat, images however are still a little lost on me. Also, I really wanna be hitting off on my independent chinese language studies, things were going pretty good before I ran out of batteries, note to self, schedule better when self-learning.

Jumping back on the fitness and health boat seems a really good target to shoot for as well. No mistaking, I AM fit and healthy, but at the same time, I'm dangerously slipping away. My eating habits are not very recommendable at best and the joints of my lower limbs are really taking some late-induced pounding, after-effects of my experimentations with my body. Going up the stairs is mildly aggravating, thank goodness for small favours. Being more consistent and safe, focusing on health and athletic performance first, aesthetics second. Thats the new mantra, say it with me! Never mind..

Gonna go back to a bit more reading and other writings before I hit the hay, no promises as to when but I'll be back. Thats for certain.